Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What do turtles do when one of them has a birthday?
They have a shell-ebration.
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?
Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes!
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What happened to the Easter bunny at school? He was eggspelled.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
Did the dinosaur take a bath ? Why, is there one missing?
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Did you hear about the koala bear in the church choir? Yeah, they say he sings bearitone.
Why didn't the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.
What did the bacteria say to the bee to cheer it up?
Gram positive
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a mammoth’s tusk?
A sabre-toothed tiger.
Dear Turkey, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, all women.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
What do you call a happy rabbit? An Hop-timist.
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!
What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
what do you call it when a lady mammal that enjoys swimming a lot, who has an unattractive twin sister, fires a gun at one of her gym buddies who also happens to work with clay as their profession?
hotter water otter daughter shot her potter spotter
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
"Do not consume if seal is broken."
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What Do Ducks Have With Soup?
Quackers
An otter and an otter are in a car, who's driving? Animal Control
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
Today I went to the bee store
And I wanted 12 bee's but when I checked out the cashier gave me 13 and I asked him why he gave me 13 instead of 12 and he said it was a free bee.
What did the teenage crow want for his birthday? A brand new caw!
The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
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