A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?
A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
It may seem a bit corny but we appreciate you working your tail off for us.
Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
Why did the bear quit his second job?
Because he needed some koalaty time with his family.
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I’ve ever seen.
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
What does a bookworm do during a baseball game? Worm the bench.
The sheep says to the shepherd "you're an jerk and I hate you!" and the shepherd says "Say what?"
And the sheep goes "You herd me!"
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What do you call a rabbit who is angry over getting burnt? A hot cross bunny.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
Had beaver curry last night.
Bit like a normal curry, just a little otter.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
What Christmas carol do they sing in the desert? O' Camel ye faithful.
Why do flamingos make bad pets? They are too much of a birden.
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
What kind of bugs live in clocks? Ticks!
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He’s the Easter Bungee!
Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A. A walkie talkie!
The guy nearly saw a murder when he almost ran over his car over a couple of crows.
Why did the bat fire a chauffeur?
He drove everyone batty.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
How do you make a telephone in the jungle?
With toucans and a piece of string.
What problem did the young bat experience?
The hangout.
How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end? It was won by a hare!
Why did the worm leave the Apple?
Because Noah said to travel in pairs
What did the goat farmer’s wife say to her husband when he was swearing on the job?
“Not in front of the kids!”
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
Why should you never do math with a tiger?
If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.
Why did the otter cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.