On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
A lion would never play golf.
But a Tiger Wood.
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
People always talk about the 'Eye Of The Tiger'. No one talks about the other four letters.
What’s the difference between a lion and a tiger?
A tiger always tells the truth, the other one is always lie-on.
Why are tigers striped? Because they never want to be spotted.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
If a lamb and tiger were crossed, you would end up with a striped sweater.
It was reported that a tiger recently exploded in the forest fire. They say it was a Royal Bang-al Tiger.
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
Why was the big white tiger angry with his other Siberian tiger friend? Because he bleached him while grooming.
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
What does a tiger say to his friends before eating a meal? "Let us prey!"
A fight between tiger and lion broke out. Both of them wanted to become the next empe-roar of the jungle.
Q: What’s a tiger’s favorite color?
A: Roar-range.
Why did the tiger visit the eye specialist after dropping a can of red paint on himself? He saw red.
What’s the silliest name you can give a tiger?
Spot.
Who would win a game of hide and seek between a dalmatian and a tiger? The tiger because he wouldn't be spotted.
What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
What did you call the cat next door 10,000 years ago?
A neighbor-toothed tiger.
What do you call a tiger who always gets the same grades as one other person? A tie-ger.
What side of a tiger has the most stripes? The outside.
Which flower is known as the most ferocious flower? A tiger lily.
How do you catch a unique tiger?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame tiger?
Tame way.
Why are tigers said to be religious? Because they frequently prey with all their family members.
Q: What do tigers and computers have in common?
A: They both have mega bites.
What did the zoologist and the herbalist name their child? Tiger Woods.
What happened when the tiger ate the comedian?
He felt funny!
What’s striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.
The good pony apologized to the tiger at the zoo for his sore throat, he said: "I am sorry, I am a little horse."
Where does a tiger sleep?
Anywhere he wants to!
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
What will you get if you cross an ice bear and a running tiger? Frostbite.
Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Because he was playing with a cheetah.
How did the tigers greet the other animals in the jungle? "Hey! Pleased to eat you."
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
Why can't college professors take exams at a zoo? Because there are too many cheetahs.
The tiger asked his longtime friend, "Will you be my tigerlfriend."
What would a tiger running a Xerox machine in the back of a store be called? A copycat.
What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
Tony the tiger ate both of my grandmother's parents.
Tearfully, I asked him why. He just looked at me and said, "They're GREAT!"
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
Our kids tee ball team, the Tigers, won the championship. All the parents were very proud and put in for a little statuette of the front of a tiger to give them to celebrate. When it came in, for some reason it was the back half of a tiger.
Needless to say, it was a cat ass trophy.
A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...
It was a sleight exaggeration.
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