A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa dum tssssss.
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
I invented a device that can stop a snake in its tracks.
It's made of asphalt.
What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
Why did the viper, viper nose?
Because the adder, adder hankerchief.
Which are the best mathematicians amongst the snake family?
The adders.
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
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