What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python."
"Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know."
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa dum tssssss.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.
I invented a device that can stop a snake in its tracks.
It's made of asphalt.
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
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