What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
Why don’t snakes drink coffee?
Because it makes them viperactive.
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
Who is a snake’s favorite author?
William Snakespeare.
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
What is a snake’s favorite TV show?
Monty Python.
What do you call luggage made of snakeskin?
Ex-hiss baggage.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
I invented a device that can stop a snake in its tracks.
It's made of asphalt.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
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