What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
What do you call a snake that informs the police?
A grass snake.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
What is a snake’s favorite TV show?
Monty Python.
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
Why don’t snakes drink coffee?
Because it makes them viperactive.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa dum tssssss.
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
Did you hear about the snake who wrote a love letter to his girlfriend?
He sealed it with a hiss.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
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