What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
What do you call luggage made of snakeskin?
Ex-hiss baggage.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
Which are the best mathematicians amongst the snake family?
The adders.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
What do you call a snake with no clothes on?
Snaked.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Baa dum tssssss.
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
What did one python say to the other before they made a deal?
Let’s “snake” on it.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
What is a snake’s favorite TV show?
Monty Python.
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