What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
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