Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
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