How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
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