What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
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