How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
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