Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
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