How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
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