What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?
Iceberg lettuce!
What does a magician penguin say?
“Pick a cod, any cod…”
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
Where does a 500-pound penguin sit?
Anywhere it wants.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Who’s the penguin’s favorite Aunt?
Aunt-Arctica.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
Why did the penguin cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
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