What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
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