Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.