What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.