What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
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