Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
How did the horse break into the mainframe?
It was a hack.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
Why did the horse like her new backpack?
The straps were adju-stable.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
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