How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
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