What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
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