How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
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