Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on?
A rein-bow.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What cartoon do horses like to watch?
Whinny the Pooh.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
What do you call a horse going down a waterslide?
Horseback sliding.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
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