How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What do horses use to eat?
Breastplates.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
Where do horses get their mane cut?
The hair-dressager.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet?
“I lope so!”
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
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