Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft
A Duct-ape.
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
How did the gorilla know she was poorly? She had a belly ape.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?
Whatever it wants to be called.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
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