Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
What is the best thing to do if you notice a gorilla is sitting at your desk?
Find another place to sit.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What is most gorillas' favorite book to study in English class at high school?
The Apes Of Wrath.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
Why did the gorilla have to visit the vet?
He wasn't peeling well
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
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