Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.