Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
How do you know when your dog is lazy?
When it chases parked cars.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What did Shakespeare say when he was angry with his Dalmatian?
Out, out, damned spot.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
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