What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
How do you know when your dog is lazy?
When it chases parked cars.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
Go to BabaMail
