Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
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