What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
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