What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Q. What do you get if you cross a deer with an Aussie Joey?
A. A buck-er-roo.
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
What was the motto of the unique deer? Deer to be different!
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
Q. What did they serve with nacho cheese at stag parties?
A. Deer-itos.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
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