What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
I like you, you croc my world.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
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