What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”