A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
Some people like to play croc-quet.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
What do you call an alligator that will only eat sacrificed lambs?
A hallaligator.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.