What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
I like you, you croc my world.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
Some people like to play croc-quet.