What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
Some people like to play croc-quet.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
Why don’t alligators watch movies?
Because they live in swamps.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
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