Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
Some people like to play croc-quet.
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
What type of flooring do alligators have in their homes?
Rep-tiles.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
I like you, you croc my world.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.