What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What do you call a reptile that works on a farm?
An irri-gator.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
Some people like to play croc-quet.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
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