If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.