That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
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