How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
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