India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
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