A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
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