Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
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