Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
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