What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
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