What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Where do cows get together?
The meet market.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
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