Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mew-sic.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.