Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
Who wears red and brings catnip to sleeping kittens? Santa Claws!
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
Why couldn’t the cat finish watching her movie? Because she had it on paws!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
If there were ten cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many would be left? None, because they were all copycats!
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
They set a new lap record.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!