Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
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