What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
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