What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
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