Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
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