How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
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