What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
Go to BabaMail
