How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.