What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
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