What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
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