What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
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