How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
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