Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
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