What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
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