Which bat can hang the highest and longest?
The acro-bat.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
What do you call a bat with ebola? African batman.
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages? A wheely bat idea.
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What do you call an bat with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
Where do bats get their education?
In night schools.
How do bats tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
Why did the bat walk in her pijamas to take a bath?
Because she did not have a bat robe.
Why did the bat often use mouthwash? She had bat breath.
What did the bat say to the diabetic? Nice knawing you!
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined?
Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock?
She turned into a ding-bat.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
How fast can a cave become vacant? At the drop of a bat.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
What do you get when you cross a bat with a doorbell?
A ding-bat.
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? blood-thirsty hacker baby
What did the pitcher tell the bat? Batter-up.
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
Why did the bat fire a chauffeur?
He drove everyone batty.
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
How do you write a book about Bats? With a ghostwriter.
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
Why do psychiatrists study bats?
They want to learn about their hang-ups.
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.