What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
Where do parrots get away on holiday? To the beak!
Have you ever tried setting fire to a flamingo? It’s really easy, you just burn the O.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
Why couldn't the squirrel eat the macadamia nut?
It was one tough nut to crack.
All these years of technological developments and I still haven’t seen a colour photo of a zebra.
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
What’s black and white and yellow?
A cowardly panda.
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
The worst part about being a giraffe…
Is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode? What a lavaly day!
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What do you call someone who tells too many dinosaur jokes?
A dino-bore.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
Where are koalas taken when they die? To an ancient bearial site.
What’s the scariest koala movie ever made? The Bear Witch Project.
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
Why shouldn’t you tell an owl your secrets?
They’re always talon everyone.
What did the beaver say to the river? You can run but can't tide.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
What do you name a synthetic parrot?
PollyEster
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
What do you call a kangaroo in Africa?
Lost.
A flamingo only ever asks for a plaster when it hurts its pinky.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
Which birds are good at holding things together?
Velcrows.
What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
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