Knock knock!
Who is there?
Beaver
Beaver who?
Be-ware of the turbulent river.
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
Why do you bring fish to a party?
You bring fish to a party because they go well with chips!
Why don’t dolphins play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
Which frog has horns?
A bull frog.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
A sheep, an idiot, and a snake walk into a bar.
Baaaa dumb hisssssss.
Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
When he was chewing the skeleton, the wolf got to a point and laughed. I guess that was the funny bone.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What do you call a mouse that doesn't eat, drink, or even walk? A computer mouse.
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
What do you call an owl who knows how to do magic tricks?
Hoodini.
Where did Noah keep his bees? In his archive.
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
A crow was arrested under suspicion of murder. The case was closed, as the judge said he had just caws.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Where do beavers go for a hair cut? To the bobber shop.
What birds should you recycle?
Toucans.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
What do you call an ant that moves to another country?
An emigr-ant.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
Being shellfless entails volunteering at the relief center during disaster.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish.
Tigers are bad at basketball because they have only four feet.
Deja moo:
That feeling you've heard this bull before.
Why doesn't McDonald's serve escargot? Because it's not fast food.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He’s the Easter Bungee!
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What do llamas always say when they introduce themselves?
“Fleeced to meet you.”
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