What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
What do you give a panda when it is sick?
Pandadol.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
Dad: Where do desert nomads buy their camels?
Son: I dunno. Where?
Dad: at Camelot.
In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated? Turkey.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
What do you call a noisy group of crows?
A caw-cophony!
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.
"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
How do you apologize to a sloth? BEAR your heart and soul.
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
What do you call a bee that comes back from the dead?
Zombee
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Where do dinosaurs get their mail ? At the dead-letter office!
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
What side of a tiger has the most stripes? The outside.
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
Q. Where do Midwest does prefer to give birth?
A. Deerborn, Michigan.
Which city do hamsters live in?
Hamsterdam.
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
What kind of car does a mouse drive?
A mini van.
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
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