What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
What do frogs drink?
Croak-a-cola.
The group of beavers loved the river because it has a really bubbly personality.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way!
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth? Bronto-swore-us.
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
What is a snake’s favorite TV show?
Monty Python.
Making puns ha?
Toucan play that game.
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
Why did the frog make so many mistakes?
It jumped to the wrong conclusions.
What did the llama say when he found out he had been robbed?
“I’ve been fleeced!”
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
The beaver offered some freshly streamed buns to his guests.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
Sometime flamingos get fixated on one thing, and it can be hard to get them to see things from another pers-peck-tive.
A family of beavers were walking across a river. During that time, the dad said to the family: “Dam it.”
Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
A homicide detective walks into a bar and orders a beer.
"Hey look at those birds outside," the bartender comments to him. "Did you know that a group of crows like that is called a murder?"
"Well you can't be sure that's a murder," the detective says. "Unless there is probable caws."
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Ears.
Ears who?
Ears one more beaver joke for you.
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
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