What's the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus? The strawberry is red!
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
How do the cool camels say hello?
"How you dune?"
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What was the motto of the unique deer? Deer to be different!
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.
A flamingo only ever asks for a plaster when it hurts its pinky.
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
I threw water on a flamingo the other day
Now it's just an O.
What did the river say when it saw beavers for the first time? “Well, I’ll be dammed.”
What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A Hensemble.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What did the eye witness say about the camel who was using the bushes as a lavatory?
I saw the hump take a dump in a clump
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
3 animals enter a bar. A lion, a tiger and a bear.
Oh my!
What do koalas do when they’re facing a tough situation? They grin and bear it.
What has 6 legs, red hair, and flies?
No, seriously. This thing is scaring the heck out me.
My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
What do you call an ant running away with another ant?
Ant-elope.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because they wouldn't take a bath!
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
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