What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A lickalotopis
My son wanted a pet spider but they're to expensive.
I told him I'll get him one off the web.
What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hopera.
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
How do you measure the circumference of a Sheep?
Shepherds Pie
What do you call a shrimp hit by a car?
Road krill.
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
I wanted to catch a squirrel but I didn't know how.
So I decided to climb a tree and act like a nut.
What kind of eels can travel on land?
Wheels.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Of all the best pieces of wolf advice, this is my favorite, “stand fur what you believe”
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
What kind of car does an otter drive? A Furrari.
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
How do rabbits travel? By hareplane.
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted.
Why does the rabbit bring toilet paper to the party? Because he is a party pooper.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
What do you call a werewolf who doesn't know he's a werewolf ?
Unawarewolf.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A sunburned panda.
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