Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
What’s the difference between a worm and pumpkin?
Have you ever tried worm pie?
My wife and I have been having trouble communicating. We decided to take a walk when we passed a farm. She said "awww, babe look at the sheep."
"No, ewe." I said.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
I went to the zoo today....
only to find out that some aquatic mammals had escaped.
It was otter chaos.
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A LAMBorghini
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What's the opposite of an elephant?
An eleph-antonym.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
If a lamb and tiger were crossed, you would end up with a striped sweater.
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks
The poor werewolf was busy chasing his own tail. We were later told that he was trying to make ends meet.
Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
What medicine do you give to sick ants?
Antibiotics.
When the wolf stood on the grape, the latter said nothing but let out a little bit of a wine.
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way!
I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
What do you call a wasp who is having a bad hair day?
A frizz-bee
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
How did the beaver build the insides of a dam using logs? He logged in.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.
"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
How does a turtle feel after being electrocuted?
Shell-shocked.
Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
What do you call a lobster with a Christmas hat?
Santa Claws
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
Most camels prefer camelmile drinks because of the nutrition in there.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
Turtles communicate with each other through shell phones.
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
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