What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
What was the most flexible dinosaur? Tyrannosaurus Flex.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
What do you call twin baby kangaroos?
Roo-mMates!
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
What do you call a werewolf who doesn't know he's a werewolf ?
Unawarewolf.
What do you call a flying elephant?
A jumbo jet.
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
An army of werewolves is known as a Fur-eign Legion.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
What will you get if you cross an ice bear and a running tiger? Frostbite.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
What do you call a luxurious ant?
Decad-ant.
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Hunting elephants is illegal as ivory well know.
What do you call a large group of sick pandas?
A Pandamic.
What’s a Chinese bear’s favorite organ of the body?
The panda-creas.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
Why was the Navy Seal sad?
He doesn't like the color blue.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower...
It was a cross pollination.
What do you drive in a river? An otter-mobile.
A famous turtle is called a shell-ebrity.
Q: What does the tiger use to brush his mane?
A: A catacomb.
Why had the beaver left the pond? He thought it was too shallow.
A flamingo can be a really good friend to have. However, they generally fit the bill really well.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.