Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
The gang of crows used a crowbar to break into the house.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
If a crab worked in a pizza parlor, which station would it work?
The crust station.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
“I hope I didn’t quack any.”
Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay? Anywhere he wants to.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
What did the duck who learned physics say?
Quark, quark.
Something’s goat to give.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What kind of turkey grows on a tree? Poultry.
The baby crow decided to dress up as his favorite vegetable on Halloween, he dressed up as a caw-liflower.
What does an owl with an attitude have?
A scowl.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
My wife got stung by a jellyfish and said, “Quick, pee on it!” So I peed on it and said…
“That’s for stinging my wife!”
What do sloths make when it snows? Slow Angels.
A snapping turtle is a turtle that takes up pgotography.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
What is the funniest fish in the sea?
A clownfish.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What’s green and hangs from trees?
Giraffe snot.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
Why was the mosquito sad on christmas?
It was a bah hum bug.
How do you catch a unique tiger?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame tiger?
Tame way.
What do you call a crocodile that keeps breaking the law?
A crookadile.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
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