Why are beavers only found in freshwaters? Because they don't like stale water.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came?
Put it on my bill!
What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog? Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What’s black and white, has four legs and a trunk?
Two pandas on holiday.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
Why couldn't the squirrel eat the macadamia nut?
It was one tough nut to crack.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
What did the deer say to his friend who has slipping down the mountain?
Hang on for deer life!
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
I would rather breed mice than crows
Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
How does a koala get from one place to another? On a gondkoala.
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
What Christmas carol do they sing in the desert? O' Camel ye faithful.
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A long shot.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What do you call a guy who believes in ethical treatment of spiders?
Peta Parker.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
What type of key opens a banana?
A monkey.
Where is a frog's favorite place to eat?
At IHOP.
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs bunny
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
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