What do you call an bat with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Why did the beaver stop cutting down trees?
The work gave him gnawsea
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
Knock knock!
Who is there?
Beaver
Beaver who?
Be-ware of the turbulent river.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
A group of crows is usually called a 'murder.' Technically, it's only a manslaughter unless there is probable caws.
Why do pandas have fur coats?
Because they’d look stupid in denim jackets.
What squeaks as it solves crimes?
Miami mice!
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
What is a beaver's most favorite song ever? You made me a, you made me a beaver, beaver.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What do you call a food stamp inside of a burrito? An otter fortune cookie
I told my husband that the National Zoo's sloth bear gave birth but ate two of the three babies. He said "now she's guilty of 2 deadly sins: sloth and gluttony."
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
What do rabbits like to sing? “Every bunny was kung fu fighting.”
Why doesn't McDonald's serve escargot? Because it's not fast food.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
Why are tigers striped? Because they never want to be spotted.
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
How do you make a duck sing soul music?
Put him in the microwave until his Bill Withers
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
Where do dinosaurs get their mail ? At the dead-letter office!
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
Who cleans all the mess created by beavers after their beach trip? Mer-maids.
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
What do you call an ant running away with another ant?
Ant-elope.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant eater!
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
If there's a bee in my hand, then what's in my eye?
Beauty.
Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.
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