We have always been in turtle awe of her artistic skills.
What do you call a werewolf who doesn't know he's a werewolf ?
Unawarewolf.
What jumps up and down in front of a car?
Froglights.
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
When is a turkey scary?
When it's a goblin.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
What is the best period of a bee's relationship?
The honeymoon.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
Why did the scientist use a drink container to communicate with dolphins?
Because a bottle knows dolphin.
I've always liked Buffalo Springfield....
....For What it's Worth.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
The next door beaver couple got arrested for illegal streaming.
My wife: Oh look, here's instructions on building a carpenter bee trap.
Me: Shouldn't they be able to do that themselves?
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play?
A mouse organ!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
Why did the beaver refuse to laugh at any of the twig's jokes? He is not a big fan of dry humor.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
I bought a bunny because everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
How do elephants bathe?
With their trunks on.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
What's a camel's favorite part of a meal?
Desert!
What did the happy cat say? Stay paw-sitive!
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
How does an antisocial crow say about a family party? "It was murder".
Why did the gorilla cross the road? He had to take care of some monkey business.
Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
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