What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get!
What do you call a dinosaur that's a loud sleeper? A Snore-a-sorus
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
I thought of premeditated murder and a flash mob of crows came to my mind.
What do you call a bee that comes back from the dead?
Zombee
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
I had to carry a group of crows once.
It was murder on my back!
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter. A little (h)otter
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
How do you plan to shell-ebrate the New Year?
Why are bunnies always tired in April? Because they just finished a March.
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
What do mosquitoes and relatives have in common?
They both share your blood.
My son wanted a pet spider but they're to expensive.
I told him I'll get him one off the web.
When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet? When it's not raining!
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
What does a Saudi bee call its bros?
Habibees.
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
Sheep jokes are bad.
Really baaaaaaa-d.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
The phone rings, and a crow picks it only to find out it’s for her husband. She then says: "Hey John, you have a phone caw."
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
I had a job circumcising elephants.
The base salary wasn't great, but the tips were huge.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
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