What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
What did the goat farmer’s wife say to her husband when he was swearing on the job?
“Not in front of the kids!”
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
Why do dinosaurs eat their food raw? Cause they don't know how to cook
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
Beavers are the best at getting things done on riverbanks. They have their own waves of working.
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your highness.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted.
Q. What do you get if you cross a deer with an Aussie Joey?
A. A buck-er-roo.
Why do beavers make the best neighbors?
Because they mind their own dam business.
What’s a horse’s favorite dinosaur?
The broncosaurus.
A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club".
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
What do you call a maternal Turkish robot water weasel?
An Ottoman otter-mom automaton.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
Where do rabbits learn how to fly? In the hare force!
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a sloth? A slow leopard.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
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