What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
Wolves love taking woofles for breakfast, they are sweet and amazing.
What do you call a lobster with a Christmas hat?
Santa Claws
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
What do you call a nervous baby ant?
A little antsy.
Where do the monkeys get their gossip?
They hear it on the ape vine.
What would a winged horse put in the bathtub?
A pegaLush bath bomb.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
You have goat to be kidding me.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
Where do monkeys go when they lose their tails?
To a retailer.
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What does a mosquito say to greet his girlfriend?
"M'laria."
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses.
An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
What does an evil penguin lay?
Deviled eggs.
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
Why are Siberian tigers so happy at Christmas time? Because it is snowy, and they get to look like white tigers.
What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
A priest is the best catch for a tiger as they like to prey.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
I once had a conversation with a dolphin.
We just clicked.
Did you hear about the rabbit who refused to leave her house? She was having a bad hare day.
Don't worry, bee happy!
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
What happens when a koala drinks too much alcohol? He gets a bear gut.
An otter and an otter are in a car, who's driving? Animal Control
What do you get when you cross a tortoise and a llama?
A turtle-neck sweater.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
Where do crows try their luck?
Ma-cau
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
How do you know if a tiger is male or female?
Throw a rock at it. If he runs it's a male. If she runs it's a female.
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