What did the deer say after prancing around a cloning machine for an hour?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
What do you call a happy rabbit? An Hop-timist.
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What do you call a light-headed elephant?
An ele-faint.
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
Did you hear about the crow who worked at a call Center?
He was fired for Just Caws.
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
What is the name of the final exam you take when studying bird law? The crow bar.
What did the bat say to the diabetic? Nice knawing you!
Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch? That depends on how fast you carry it!
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
What was the scariest prehistoric animal? The Terror-dactyl!
How did the beaver build the insides of a dam using logs? He logged in.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Something’s goat to give.
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Q: How does a tiger move a boat?
A: He uses roars.
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
What do you need to know to teach a dinosaur tricks? More than the dinosaur.
Where do llamas go on vacation?
Alpacapuco.
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
Did you know that you only need two letters to spell Panda?
You just need P and A.
What do you get when you put a bomb in a dinosaur? Dino-mite.
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