What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What do you call a food stamp inside of a burrito? An otter fortune cookie
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
How many mosquito's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only 2, no idea how they got there.
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Did you guys hear about the camel that got a gig playing a cow on Broadway?
She was a real drama dairy.
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
Today I learned that mosquitoes love type-B blood.
Oops. sorry, type-O.
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
Flamingos are great at social events; they flamingle really well.
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it’s a Greyhound.
An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
What happens when a koala drinks too much alcohol? He gets a bear gut.
What do you call an ant with big hair?
Bouff-ant.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
One day I saw a squirrel burying lotto tickets under a large bush, so I asked him what he was doing.
He told me he was hedging his bets.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
I told my husband that the National Zoo's sloth bear gave birth but ate two of the three babies. He said "now she's guilty of 2 deadly sins: sloth and gluttony."
Why does the rabbit bring toilet paper to the party? Because he is a party pooper.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What do you call a really happy ant?
Exuber-ant.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Go to BabaMail
