A sheep, an idiot, and a snake walk into a bar.
Baaaa dumb hisssssss.
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
Dear Turkey, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, all women.
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-Hop!
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because all his uncles were ants.
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a loud sleeper? A Snore-a-sorus
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
What do you call a nervous baby ant?
A little antsy.
A flamingo only ever asks for a plaster when it hurts its pinky.
Who’s a llama’s favorite actor?
Al Pacacino.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
I got invited to a costume party, so I went as a turtle.
I had a shell of a time.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
A weeping camel is known as a humpback wail.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want, it can't hear you!
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
Waiter, waiter, do you have frog legs?
No, I always walk this way.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What do you call a koala with a negative attitude? The bearer of bad news.
It is said that crows and owls are in caw-hoots.
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
What do you call luggage made of snakeskin?
Ex-hiss baggage.
Why did the magician have to cancel his show? Because he just washed his hare and couldn’t do a thing with it.
Q. What do they call the gorilla marathon runner who only wins when it's pouring outdoors?
A. The raining chimp-ion.
What is a seals favorite subject?
Art Art Art Art!
To whom did the squirrel go to seek out his fortune.
Nutradamus.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
Eleph-ino! (Sounds like "Hell if I know!")
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
The zookeeper told me I wasn’t allowed to buy the animals so I asked why the zebra had a barcode.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.
No one really enjoys crying wolf. However, the boy did cry just to get a howling experience.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
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