What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
What did the river say to the beaver? You look so tide'y.
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What do you get if you cross a pigeon and a parrot? Voicemail!
I asked what the lion in my wardrobe was doing.
He said it was Narnia business
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independ-ant.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What is a parrot's favourite colour shade?
Polly-chromatic
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
My wife has been giving me a hard time about my drinking. Eventually, I agreed to quit cold turkey.
Never cared for leftovers anyway.
What kind of car does a mouse drive?
A mini van.
Why are beavers so good in maths? They love log'arithms.
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What do you call a secret group of llamas?
The i-llama-nati.
What was the motto of the unique deer? Deer to be different!
Who is king of all the mice?
Mouse Tse Tung!
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
What do you call a werewolf who doesn't know he's a werewolf ?
Unawarewolf.
The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
Which hotel do mice most often use?
The Stilton.
What was the owl’s favorite Whitney Houston song?
Owl always love you.
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
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