When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road ? The chicken hadn't evolved yet!
What do koalas use when they’re doing yard work? A wheelbearow.
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A LAMBorghini
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
How do elephants bathe?
With their trunks on.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
You were mauled by a gang of squirrels. You want to sue them but no lawyer wants to take your case. Why?
They think you are nuts.
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.
Why did the bee get married?
She found her honey.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
Why did the worm cross the playground?
To get to the underground slide!
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
Why did they take Polly away?
He went crackers!
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
what do you call it when a lady mammal that enjoys swimming a lot, who has an unattractive twin sister, fires a gun at one of her gym buddies who also happens to work with clay as their profession?
hotter water otter daughter shot her potter spotter
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What medication does a snake with hay fever take?
An antihissstamine.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
What soccer position does a pink flamingo play? Flamingoalie.
Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to prove he could hip hop!
Q. Where can you view sculptures and paintings created by deer?
A. At the art moose-seum.
I caught a fruit fly in the air and killed it.
I'm a gnatural born killer.
What did the llama say when the other llama asked if they wanted to go on holiday?
Alpaca suitcase.
Which hotel do mice most often use?
The Stilton.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.
Where do bats get their education?
In night schools.
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
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