What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
Q. What do you call an entertaining gorilla eating a banana?
A. Ape peeling.
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
When does a bat go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Accidentally ran over a French seal today .
Phoque.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him?
He herd.
Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to prove he could hip hop!
What can one parrot do?
Not as much as toucan.
Why did the bat often use mouthwash? She had bat breath.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
Today I learned that mosquitoes love type-B blood.
Oops. sorry, type-O.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
What’s a llama’s favorite movie?
Alpacalypse Now.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
How do camels blend in?
With camel-flage
What do you call a camel that looks the same from both directions?
A palindromedary!
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit? A chili dog on a bun!
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus.
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