Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
As soon as one beaver jumped in the river to search for his key, it got shocked, as the current was too strong.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
When I was younger, I dressed up as a frog and robbed a bank.
That was the first time that I Kerm-itted a crime.
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat?
She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
What did they call prehistoric sailing disasters? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
Why are houseflies great at arithmetics? Because they multiply really fast.
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What did the rabbit say to its wife? No bunny compares to you.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
Was the koala able to complete the grueling 26-mile marathon? Bearly.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
Q. Which Greek eggplant dish do deer really eat up?
A. Moose-aka.
What did the bus driver say to the frog?
Hop on.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
Why did the beaver stop cutting down trees?
The work gave him gnawsea
What do you call a happy rabbit? An Hop-timist.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What do you call an ant from overseas?
Import-ant.
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
Goat milk?
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
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