What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
Where do rabbits work? At IHOP restaurants!
When buying crows for commercial use, always buy them in groups...
That way, you’re guaranteed to make a killing.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
What kind of photos do turtles take?
Shell-fies.
It may seem a bit corny but we appreciate you working your tail off for us.
What do you call a large group of sick pandas?
A Pandamic.
What’s a Chinese bear’s favorite organ of the body?
The panda-creas.
What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day? Time to pig up your toys.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
I’ll have a crocodile sandwich please, and make it snappy!
Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks
How did the little koala bear stop the movie? She hit the paws button.
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
Q: Why do the tiger not attack the farm?
A: He was a little bit sheepish.
What did the koala write in his Valentine’s Day card to his girlfriend? “I love you-calyptus”.
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
What do you call a clever ant?
Brilli-ant.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
The sweetest and punny name to call a pig is Mudpie.
What separates humans from dolphins?
The surface of the water.
What do you call an angry kangaroo?
Hopping mad.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
Who called it a goat petting zoo...
and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
Where do the monkeys get their gossip?
They hear it on the ape vine.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
I really like the Lion King
and every day the urge to sing one of the songs is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
A sheep, an idiot, and a snake walk into a bar.
Baaaa dumb hisssssss.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
Where do Egyptians seal away their drugs?
In a narcophagus.
A priest is the best catch for a tiger as they like to prey.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
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