Why did the bat walk in her pijamas to take a bath?
Because she did not have a bat robe.
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
Tigers are bad at basketball because they have only four feet.
What do you call an ant that moves to another country?
An emigr-ant.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels? A Stegosaurus on roller skates!
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What do you call two crows flying together?
An attempted murder
What do you call a group of dyslexic crows?
A redrum.
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
What’s worse than one crocodile coming to dinner?
Two crocodiles coming to dinner.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot? Sir.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears? Anything you like, he won't hear you!
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What do you call a Pig with three eyes?
Piiig.
What do you call a bat with ebola? African batman.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
Who’s a llama’s favorite U.S. president?
Barack Ollama.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
What do llamas always reply when you thank them?
No probllama.
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
Where is a flamingo’s favourite place to dance? The hop, of course!
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
A spider called a tech support office.
He needed help connecting to the web.
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
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