A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club".
Why was the mosquito sad on christmas?
It was a bah hum bug.
Do you know what kind of stock to use when making neotropical near-passerine bird soup?
Doesnt matter, as long as you put Toucans in.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
Who has large antlers, a high voice and wears white gloves? Mickey Moose!
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
What's the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus? The strawberry is red!
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
Why was the big white tiger angry with his other Siberian tiger friend? Because he bleached him while grooming.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
A slow poke is what you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
What do you get when you cross a Dinosaur and TNT? Dino-mite.
What does the queen bee of every hive tell their workers to do?
She tells them to bee productive.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
I asked what the lion in my wardrobe was doing.
He said it was Narnia business
Do you know what a beavers' favorite snack is? Wood chips.
I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.
When I punched him he ran, goon.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
Why did the bees go on strike? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers.
What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur? Hello, hello!
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
Why are goldfish orange?
The water makes them rusty.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
What's yellow and black and yellow and black and yellow and black?
A wasp rolling down a hill.
Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music.
They're called the Zbruhs.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
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