What’s a shark’s favorite movie?
The Shaw-shark Redemption.
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
Dad Bee left. Mama Bee calls out ...
Honeycomb home!
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
What's a frog's favorite game?
Croak-et.
A beaver's tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
What kind of luggage did the vulture bring on the flight?
Carrion.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
I saw a mosquito in the kitchen. I could have killed it, but I let it fly away...
That's probably going to come back to bite me later.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
Why didn't the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
What kind of shoes do mice wear? Squeakers.
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
How do camels blend in?
With camel-flage
A beaver asked his fellow beavers to hurry up and said, "Water you waiting for, make haste."
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
What do koalas use when they’re doing yard work? A wheelbearow.
Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
A group of crows is usually called a 'murder.' Technically, it's only a manslaughter unless there is probable caws.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been? Eggs mark the spot.
What do you call a happy rabbit? An Hop-timist.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
Tigers are probably the most roarsome animal ever created!
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
Experts suggest that the crows flying beak first into windows at a horrifying speed comit a murder suicide.
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