Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
The next door beaver couple got arrested for illegal streaming.
I threw water on a flamingo the other day
Now it's just an O.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
If a crocodile never admits he is wrong, he must be in de-nile..
Where does a tiger sleep?
Anywhere he wants to!
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
Where does a penguin go when it loses its tail?
A re-tail store.
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
Where do bats like to relax?
In the bat-tub.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What did the baby rabbit say before his favorite holiday? I carrot wait for the Easter Bunny to visit.
2 flies are playing soccer on a plate.
One says to the other "you'd better pick up your game Louie, we're playing in the cup tomorrow".
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
When you come across a lost wolf, the first greeting should be, “how are you where-wolf”.
What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries.
What do you call an ant from overseas?
Import-ant.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son
"Beehive!"
How do you plan to shell-ebrate the New Year?
How do you know if a tiger is male or female?
Throw a rock at it. If he runs it's a male. If she runs it's a female.
What says “Quick, Quick”?
A duck with the hiccups
What's the difference between and Buffalo and a Bison?
You can't wash your face in a Buffalo.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He’s the Easter Bungee!
Did you hear about the rich rabbit? He was a millionhare!
What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
Who were the original transformers? Vampire bats!
Who has large antlers, a high voice and wears white gloves? Mickey Moose!
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
I was milking a cow and a fly flew in its ear.
I thought, that’s weird, I just kept milking. A while later, the same fly showed up in the milk bucket. I guess that’s what they say: in one ear, out the udder.
What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
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