What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
What do you call an ant running away with another ant?
Ant-elope.
How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you? By the dinosnores.
I had to carry a group of crows once.
It was murder on my back!
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play?
A mouse organ!
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Due to social distancing, I had a conversation with a spider today,
Seems nice, he’s a web designer.
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?
Dirty looks from the mouse!
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops.
What do you call vampires bats that cheer at football games?
Bat-on-twirlers.
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
Why did the bat fire a chauffeur?
He drove everyone batty.
What do you call an owl who knows how to do magic tricks?
Hoodini.
Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
How do turtles communicate with each other?
With shell phones.
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a poison frog?
A croakadile.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
What does a French beaver call his dam? Ma'dame.
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Bronto-snorus.
Have you ever heard of the Poder bird?
It is also known as the Toucan
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks: “Is this stool taken?”
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
Psychologist: What brings you here today?
Squirrel: I realized I am what I eat….. Nuts.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
A lion would never play golf.
But a Tiger Wood.
What kind of horse would Bilbo Baggins ride?
A shire.
What side of a tiger has the most stripes? The outside.
To the person who stole my coffee, my lamp, and my parrot…
I don’t know how you sleep at night.
Crows hold grudges. They're also fond of eating the dead. Now...
they've been found to copulate with corpses.
NeCROWphilia.
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What did you call the cat next door 10,000 years ago?
A neighbor-toothed tiger.
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