Did you hear about the incident at the tiger exhibit?
It was a big cat-astrophe
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
What does a mosquito say to greet his girlfriend?
"M'laria."
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
What is the name of the final exam you take when studying bird law? The crow bar.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
What do dinosaurs put on their pizza? Tomato-saurus
The tiger ran away from other tigers as they were rude to him. He didn't want to be involved in a catfight.
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
Why did the otter cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
A lion would never play golf.
But a Tiger Wood.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Bronto-snorus.
My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears. Looking back, it was obvious.
He was always going on about those darn tree-huggers.
What kind of luggage did the vulture bring on the flight?
Carrion.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
What did the Inuit say to to Englishman After he wanted some seal?
"I've got Nunavut."
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
What is the most effective way to cook a crocodile?
In a croc pot.
What is a frog's favorite time?
Leap year.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
Why did the bunny build herself a new house? She was fed up with the hole thing!
Where is a frog's favorite place to eat?
At IHOP.
Why are bunnies always tired in April? Because they just finished a March.
Who’s a llama’s favorite U.S. president?
Barack Ollama.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
The police hung up the phone call when I informed them about a murder in my front yard. They said they could not do anything regarding the crows.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
What’s the name of the rabbit who stole from the rich and gave to the poor? Rabbit Hood.
What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A Diplodocus with a sore throat!
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ? A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!
What do you call a guy who believes in ethical treatment of spiders?
Peta Parker.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
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