How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
What kind of eels can travel on land?
Wheels.
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
Who’s a llama’s favorite pop singer?
Llama Del Ray.
I got invited to a costume party, so I went as a turtle.
I had a shell of a time.
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
Where did the bunny groom and bunny bride go after their wedding? On a bunnymoon.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
What do you call a very smart bunny? An egghead.
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
What jumps up and down in front of a car?
Froglights.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
Besides eucalyptus leaves, what is a koala bear’s favorite vegetable? Koalaflower.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
Why did the koala get fired from his job?
Because he would only do the bear minimum.
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
What do you call a Triceratops who scores his first goal? Dino- score!
What did the snail say to the other who had hit him and run off? I'll get you next slime!
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What did the first century Christian say about the lion that killed his wife?
I'm Gladiator.
Where do crows type? Crows type on cawmputers.
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
A homicide detective walks into a bar and orders a beer.
"Hey look at those birds outside," the bartender comments to him. "Did you know that a group of crows like that is called a murder?"
"Well you can't be sure that's a murder," the detective says. "Unless there is probable caws."
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
What problem did the young bat experience?
The hangout.
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.
What is serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite fast food restaurant?
Chick Fillet.
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
What do you call a rabbit who is angry over getting burnt? A hot cross bunny.
What does a koala do before making any kind of appointment? He always checks his koalander.
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