The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw. Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ? A dino-sewer.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
A spider called a tech support office.
He needed help connecting to the web.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
Why did the otter cross the river?
To get to the otter side
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
What’s a goat’s favorite musical?
Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dream Goat.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
Lost.
What do you call a parrot that flew away?
A polygon.
Why do psychiatrists study bats?
They want to learn about their hang-ups.
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Hide and Speak!
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
How can you tell if there is a dinosaur in bed with you? By the `D' on his pajamas.
What's the worst part about being a beaver?
It's a lot of dam work.
What has 6 legs, red hair, and flies?
No, seriously. This thing is scaring the heck out me.
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
A beaver's tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
A Boeing constrictor.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
Go to BabaMail
