What do you get if you cross a bat with a woodpecker?
Bat-a-tat.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
What is the camels’ favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpty dumpty.
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
Where do beavers go for a hair cut? To the bobber shop.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
A beaver told a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
A bunch of crows ganged up and killed a chicken.
It was a murder most fowl.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Why was the crow so angry after his stand up comedy gig? The venue paid him in coffee instead of caw fee.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
I like dillos, but do not support giving them guns.
I would never armadillo.
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? blood-thirsty hacker baby
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
How did the beaver build the insides of a dam using logs? He logged in.
Q: What time is it when a tiger walks into the room?
A: Time to get out of the room.
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net? Four pirates looking for a lost parrot!
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
What did the bus driver say to the frog?
Hop on.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What do crows read? Cawmics.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
I had a tattoo of a Scorpion on my back last night and to tell the truth...
It stings like hell.
I really like the Lion King
and every day the urge to sing one of the songs is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.
*Baste on a True Story...*
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
How do you catch a rich squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a cashew.
Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema?
Anywhere it wants to.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
What do you call luggage made of snakeskin?
Ex-hiss baggage.
What do you call a mouse with no balls? Optical. What is a mouse's favorite record? 'Please cheese me'!
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t like being known about-?
Anonymouse.
What do you call a fight between squirrels?
A squarrel
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lily.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
A Bee?
A bee who?
A beaver is building a dam on the river.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
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