The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
What does a frog order in Mcdonald's?
French flies and a diet croak.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music.
They're called the Zbruhs.
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
My wife: Oh look, here's instructions on building a carpenter bee trap.
Me: Shouldn't they be able to do that themselves?
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
Who is the wasps' favorite singer?
Sting.
As soon as one beaver jumped in the river to search for his key, it got shocked, as the current was too strong.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
What does a squirrel wear on its feet?
Cashews
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
The beaver offered some freshly streamed buns to his guests.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
Don't worry, bee happy!
Why did the Gorilla fail its exam? He didn't have the ape-titude.
Don't give up at this stage, just keep cawing on, you will do great.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been? Eggs mark the spot.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
What did the mommy dolphin do when her son was an hour late for dinner?
She flipped out!
What do llamas say when you tell them something obvious?
“No spit, Sherlock.”
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
What do you call a spider with ten eyes?
A spiiiiiiiiiider.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
Why did the bee get married?
She found her honey.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
Where do crows type? Crows type on cawmputers.
Why do ants work so hard?
They are all serv-ants.
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated? Turkey.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
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