I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
What do sloths make when it snows? Slow Angels.
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
Due to social distancing, I had a conversation with a spider today,
Seems nice, he’s a web designer.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
I know this bird who was excluded from his flock for being too big
He was ostrich-sized.
Where do horses go to the bathroom?
The bathroom stall-ion.
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a Spider? A Hare net!
Why was the crow on the telephone wire? To make a long-distance caw.
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
What do you call a bee trying to make up its mind?
A maybee
Why did the otter cross the river?
To get to the otter side
Why did the chicken go to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
What is the popular computer game that crows play? Caw of Duty!
What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try and try and try and try-ceratops
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
Why did the cat invest in the stock market? He thought is was a good op-paw-tunity
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
Why cant a mosquito stand on his feet?
because they dont have mosquiTOES.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
To the shell-block.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
Where do the monkeys get their gossip?
They hear it on the ape vine.
2 flies are playing soccer on a plate.
One says to the other "you'd better pick up your game Louie, we're playing in the cup tomorrow".
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
Why do cats not laugh at jokes? They take things too litter-ally.
What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
When does a bat go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
Who is a beaver's most favorite pop singer ever? Justin Beaver.
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
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