Being shellfless entails volunteering at the relief center during disaster.
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
A sloth walks in to a bar and waves to get the bartender’s attention, and says I’ll have...... a soda water.
The bartender replies “why the long paws?”
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth? Bronto-swore-us.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A Carpet
An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
What is a Leatherback Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
How does a lobster answer the phone?
"Shello?"
What does a tiger say to his friends before eating a meal? "Let us prey!"
What did the dolphin say to its friend who wouldn’t stop lying?
Stop spouting nonsense!
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
Our lobster neighbors never give us gifts during the holidays!
They’re so shellfish.
What do you call a panda who’s lost his dinner?
Bamboozled.
What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter flounder.
What do llamas say when you tell them something obvious?
“No spit, Sherlock.”
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
How do you make a panda?
Punch a polar bear in the eyes.
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!
What’s an elephant’s favorite sport?
Squash.
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A long shot.
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox.
Accidentally ran over a French seal today .
Phoque.
All seals live at the same elevation
Seal level.
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
How did the little koala bear stop the movie? She hit the paws button.
What did the Golden Retriever say to the beautiful poodle?
You’re looking very fetching.
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