Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
How do you make a panda?
Punch a polar bear in the eyes.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.
Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
How do bats tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hopera.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
How does an antisocial crow say about a family party? "It was murder".
I'm giving away my legless parrot, no perches necessary!
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
Our kids tee ball team, the Tigers, won the championship. All the parents were very proud and put in for a little statuette of the front of a tiger to give them to celebrate. When it came in, for some reason it was the back half of a tiger.
Needless to say, it was a cat ass trophy.
Where do ants go on vacation?
Frants.
Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
Where do otters keep their money? In the river bank!
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
Why did the cranberries turn red?
They saw the turkey dressing!
The beaver offered some freshly streamed buns to his guests.
Who is a beaver's most favorite pop singer ever? Justin Beaver.
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
What do you get if you cross a pigeon and a parrot? Voicemail!
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What did the mommy dolphin do when her son was an hour late for dinner?
She flipped out!
What do you call an ant who can’t speak?
A mute ant.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What do you call a light-headed elephant?
An ele-faint.
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
Go to BabaMail
