Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What does a mosquito say to greet his girlfriend?
"M'laria."
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ? The door won't close!
Why did the duck go to the bank?
Because he wanted to get a new bill.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
What do a mommy bee and a daddy bee make when they have alone time?
A babe-bee.
What do you call an ant who joins the army?
Milit-ant.
I can’t believe that during the attempted murder, John Crow, Russel Crow and Sheryl Crow were all in the room.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
My wife tried to claim she was a night owl.
She was lying though, because when I tried to turn her head through 270 degrees, her neck snapped.
What’s the first line of the pig bible? “In the bacon-ing…”
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Why did the otter cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
What do crows take for their gut issues? crow-biotics.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!
I threw water on a flamingo the other day
Now it's just an O.
What does a goat call his girlfriend?
Bae.
What symbolizes a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat?
She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
I tried asking some beavers to help me build my house. They didn’t give a dam.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
What hotel do mice stay in ? The Stilton
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