My friend said, "I bought a parrot for my son that has red and blue feathers."
I said, "Your son must look very strange."
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
What did the mommy dolphin do when her son was an hour late for dinner?
She flipped out!
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
I went to the zoo today....
only to find out that some aquatic mammals had escaped.
It was otter chaos.
I stole seven crows yesterday.
Got away with murder.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
What are unsolved murders called when it happens in a society of crows? Murder mysteries.
What’s a horse’s favorite dinosaur?
The broncosaurus.
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
It is said that crows and owls are in caw-hoots.
A sloth walks in to a bar and waves to get the bartender’s attention, and says I’ll have...... a soda water.
The bartender replies “why the long paws?”
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
What is a snake’s favorite TV show?
Monty Python.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
Why did the scientist use a drink container to communicate with dolphins?
Because a bottle knows dolphin.
How do you apologize to a sloth? BEAR your heart and soul.
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
What's worse than lobsters on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor? Dino-sore!
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
Deja moo:
That feeling you've heard this bull before.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
Was the koala able to complete the grueling 26-mile marathon? Bearly.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
Crows prefer carrion, so their bags are never checked at the airport.
What did the irritated crow said to his fried?
I won't talk to you if you don’t stop ravening.
What do rabbits like to sing? “Every bunny was kung fu fighting.”
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
A flying turtle is called a shellicopter.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Zebras usually hold strong opinions. They are very black and white creatures.
What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ? A Stegosau-rust.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
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