Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
Most camels prefer camelmile drinks because of the nutrition in there.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
What do you call a well-dressed ant?
Eleg-ant.
What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks: “Is this stool taken?”
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
How do you plan to shell-ebrate the New Year?
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...
I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.
I otter know better.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
My pet turtle died.
I'm not upset - just shell-shocked.
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, but a Zippo is a little lighter.
Where do bats like to relax?
In the bat-tub.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
How does a horse drink wine?
With a de-canter.
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
I've always liked Buffalo Springfield....
....For What it's Worth.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
What does a French beaver call his dam? Ma'dame.
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
Before the Koalaville basketball team can play for the national championship, they have to make it through the koalafying rounds.
I caught a fruit fly in the air and killed it.
I'm a gnatural born killer.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
A lion would never play golf.
But a Tiger Wood.
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
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