What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
Branch dressing.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
I really like the Lion King
and every day the urge to sing one of the songs is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
Who’s a llama’s favorite U.S. president?
Barack Ollama.
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?
Gracias
Did you hear about the owl who married a goat?
The had a hootenanny.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
Who brings presents for crows on Christmas? On Christmas? Santa Caws
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
What’s the scariest koala movie ever made? The Bear Witch Project.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
You were mauled by a gang of squirrels. You want to sue them but no lawyer wants to take your case. Why?
They think you are nuts.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
Did you hear about the snake who wrote a love letter to his girlfriend?
He sealed it with a hiss.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
Where do monkeys go when they lose their tails?
To a retailer.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder?
Well, technically it’s only a murder if there’s probable caws.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
My pet parrot, Nickel, just passed away.
Now I have a Nickel-less cage.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
What’s a buck’s least favorite sandwich bread?
Sour doe.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
Why isn't the the koala a real bear? He doesn't have the right koalifications.
How do you ask a dinosaur to lunch? Tea Rex?
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
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