Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
Why couldn't the housefly board the plane?
It was on the no fly list
Why was the koala scientist so well-respected by his peers? He was known for conducting excellent koalatative research.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares!
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
What's a bee's favorite novel?
The Great Gats-Bee
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
What do you call a crocodile that likes to bowl?
An alley-gator!
I just learned how to speak parrot.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
You were mauled by a gang of squirrels. You want to sue them but no lawyer wants to take your case. Why?
They think you are nuts.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What did the large baby deer say when he met his favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn!”
There was a weird Crab
Whenever he used to walk, his claws used to make a ta-ta-ta-ta sound.
What is a parrot's favourite colour shade?
Polly-chromatic
What's the difference between and Buffalo and a Bison?
You can't wash your face in a Buffalo.
How do horses greet each other?
“Hayyyyy.”
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
What do rodents say when they play bingo? 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
A wolfswagon rabbit is by far the best car you can gift a wolf.
Today I went to the bee store
And I wanted 12 bee's but when I checked out the cashier gave me 13 and I asked him why he gave me 13 instead of 12 and he said it was a free bee.
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
Where did the hamsters invade the beaver colony? Hamsterdam.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
When is a turkey scary?
When it's a goblin.
What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hopera.
Why did the beaver refuse to laugh at any of the twig's jokes? He is not a big fan of dry humor.
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
I told my wife that I saw a sheep pondering its place in the world.
She asked me, “Can ewe even imagine?”
I would rather breed mice than crows
Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.
What do you call a bee who never brags?
A humble-bee
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!
How did the pony get the bugs away?
It said, horse-shoo fly, don’t bother me.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
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