What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A Dinosaucer
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
Our local winery recently starting using a flock of sheep to keep the grass from getting too long.
At least that's what I herd through the grapevine.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only 2. They'll fit.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
Who’s a llama’s favorite actor?
Al Pacacino.
Why do pandas have fur coats?
Because they’d look stupid in denim jackets.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
A Bee?
A bee who?
A beaver is building a dam on the river.
Why are koala's so sleepy? Because you just got to be tired being so darn cute all day!
A sheep, an idiot, and a snake walk into a bar.
Baaaa dumb hisssssss.
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
What's a bee's favorite novel?
The Great Gats-Bee
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What would a crow wear to the Halloween party? A crown!
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
What is the name of the final exam you take when studying bird law? The crow bar.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
Why was the conservative buffalo disappointed in his child?
He was a bison.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
Beavers are the best at getting things done on riverbanks. They have their own waves of working.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
Why did the frog make so many mistakes?
It jumped to the wrong conclusions.
Where did the hamsters invade the beaver colony? Hamsterdam.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Where do ants go on vacation?
Frants.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
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