Why are houseflies great at arithmetics? Because they multiply really fast.
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum.
Why did the duck go to the bank?
Because he wanted to get a new bill.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth!
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
The beaver offered some freshly streamed buns to his guests.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
What’s the difference between a fly and an eagle?
An eagle can fly but a fly cannot eagle.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
When the wolf stood on the grape, the latter said nothing but let out a little bit of a wine.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
What did the Easter bunny say about the Easter parade?It was eggs-cellent.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
What's yellow and black and yellow and black and yellow and black?
A wasp rolling down a hill.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
I really like the Lion King
and every day the urge to sing one of the songs is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
Why did the bees go on strike? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers.
How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ? One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
What does a French beaver call his dam? Ma'dame.
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
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