Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
How can you tell if a crab is drunk?
It walks straight
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
What do you call a goat who paints pictures?
Vincent Van Goat.
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What is a bunch of crows gathering money called? Crow funding.
What is a lion’s favourite cheese?
Roarquefort
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Does Mr. Otterton listen to Gazelle? Yes he's a rabid fan.
Where did the hamsters invade the beaver colony? Hamsterdam.
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
What is a seals favorite subject?
Art Art Art Art!
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
I stole seven crows yesterday.
Got away with murder.
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
How did the macho bee with eczema feel?
B-Itchy
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t like being known about-?
Anonymouse.
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo?
It was Panda-monium.
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
What did the dinosaur ask his pet dog when he wanted afternoon tea with him?
Do you want some tea, Rex?
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
Why do dogs find it hard to work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
Before training its killer dolphins, Iran had to convert them to fishlam.
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
If there's a bee in my hand, then what's in my eye?
Beauty.
Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.
What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them? Mice Krispies!
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
Today I went to the bee store
And I wanted 12 bee's but when I checked out the cashier gave me 13 and I asked him why he gave me 13 instead of 12 and he said it was a free bee.
What kind of bee makes milk?
A Boobie!
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
Some marine biologists argued about how best to handle angry dolphins.
The were working at cross porpoises.
Hunting elephants is illegal as ivory well know.
Which technique does a Gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic? The bear hug!
What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday!
What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
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