Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
How does a Spanish dog say Merry Christmas?
Feliz navi-dog.
Which bird is the most contented? The crow, because he never complains without caws.
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
I get beavers and similar animals mixed up.
I otter know better.
Why is earth worm humor offensive?
They only know dirty jokes.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
What do you call a food stamp inside of a burrito? An otter fortune cookie
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
How can you tell which rabbits are getting old? Look for the grey hares.
What did the drug diller say to the duck?
Are you on quack?
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
The flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage was a true definition of murder most foul.
How do rabbits travel? By hareplane.
What bee is most indecisive?
A May bee!
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch?
Tea, Rex?
What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch? Strawberry jam.
Why didn’t the koala bear get the job? He was underkoalafied. How did he fix this? By going back to koalage.
If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Let it bee.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
What does a koala do before making any kind of appointment? He always checks his koalander.
My son wanted a pet spider but they're to expensive.
I told him I'll get him one off the web.
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
What do you call an elephant with rotors?
A Nellie-copter.
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo?
It was Panda-monium.
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
I would rather breed mice than crows
Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
What is a beaver's most favorite song ever? You made me a, you made me a beaver, beaver.
What’s small, furry and slightly purple? A koala holding its breath!
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
What do you call a wasp who is having a bad hair day?
A frizz-bee
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What dog does Dracula own?
A blood-hound.
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
I know this bird who was excluded from his flock for being too big
He was ostrich-sized.
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