Why do flamingos fly south in winter? Because it would be too far to walk.
What do you call two kangaroos who live together?
Roo-mates.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
There are good and bad times to buy a flamingo. Bad times are when they’re expensive, the best times are when they’re cheep.
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independ-ant.
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
What did the deer say after she saw her Amazon bill?
“I spent too much doe!”
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
Did you hear about the crow who worked at a call Center?
He was fired for Just Caws.
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
I tried asking some beavers to help me build my house. They didn’t give a dam.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
What's the difference between and Buffalo and a Bison?
You can't wash your face in a Buffalo.
What was the owl’s favorite Whitney Houston song?
Owl always love you.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur ? Jurassic Pork!
What do you call a really happy ant?
Exuber-ant.
A snapping turtle is a turtle that takes up pgotography.
What do you call a 100 year old ant?
An ant-ique.
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their feet smell.
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
What do you call an elephant with rotors?
A Nellie-copter.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
Why did the giant ape climb up the side of the skyscraper?
Because the elevator was broken.
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
What’s black and white and goes up and down?
A panda who’s stuck in a lift.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
Whats in a camels favorite cup of tea?
Camelmile
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
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